Codependency can be thought of as prioritizing other’s needs, expectations, or problems over one’s own mental and physical health. It often involves an imbalance of giving and receiving, as well as extreme dependence on another person for emotional support and validation. Codependent individuals may also feel responsible for the feelings and actions of loved ones.
Signs of codependency include:
1. Enabling Behavior: Codependent individuals may enable destructive habits or behaviors of their loved ones in an attempt to maintain their sense of usefulness or to avoid conflict. Enabling may include rationalizing behavior or making excuses, lying to shield from consequences, minimizing the severity of a problem, or pretending that there isn’t a problem at all.
2. Lack of Boundaries: Clear boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship, but codependent individuals might struggle to set and maintain these boundaries. A fear of abandonment or rejection can prevent codependent individuals from voicing their own needs, desires, thoughts, and feelings.
3. Low Self-Esteem: The constant need for external validation can lead to low self-worth and a sense of inadequacy. Individuals hold other’s approval for their thoughts, emotions, and actions more highly than their own.
4. Emotional Roller Coaster: Codependent individuals may experience extreme emotional highs and lows, as their emotional state is closely tied to the fluctuating reactions of those they are codependent on. Breaking Free from Codependency:
1. Self-Awareness: Recognizing and acknowledging codependent patterns is the first step toward change. Self-reflection helps identify triggers, behaviors, and underlying emotions.
2. Boundaries: Learning to set and maintain clear boundaries is crucial. This involves clearly expressing one’s personal needs and desires. This also includes accepting one’s emotions and personal beliefs as valid and relevant.
3. Self-Care: prioritizing self-care can help individuals learn how to prioritize their well-being. This includes eating healthy, engaging in hobbies, sleeping well, and spending quality time with friends and family.
4. Therapy and Counseling: Professional help, such as individual therapy or support groups, can provide tools to address codependency, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and rebuild self-esteem.
If you or a loved one may be struggling with codependency, know that there are ways to identify patterns and overcome codependent behaviors. It is healthy to nurture your own well-being and understand what is in your control versus outside of your control. In the end, everyone is responsible for their own actions and feelings.